Nic and I discuss next steps for Lionel. He's slowed, body and mind, and is just hanging in there. Nic's just hanging in there too. She's working 40 hours and looking after him. It's wearing her out. I'd like to keep Lionel at home at least till the end of January. He's going downhill fast and it's hard to know how long to plan for, and what is best for everyone. It would be traumatic for him to go into a home; I'm hoping we can keep him here long enough. I would take care of him in Christchurch but that would separate him from his community and he would still be on his own a lot. I can't bear the thought of putting him in an institution but his health needs and inability to do much for himself give us little choice. This end of life is hard and heart breaking. In the meantime we'll do the best we can. Our time is finite, one and all.
Meanwhile I take Lionel for an afternoon drive to Omakau. When we leave town, instead of turning off to Ophir I take the road to Ranfurly and Palmerston. Two years ago that's what Lionel did on a foggy afternoon in the middle of winter. When Ted, the neighbour, didn't see Lionel come home he phoned the police. Healthcare phoned me to tell me Lionel hadn't been home for his evening pills. There was nothing I could do in Christchurch. It was Friday night of Queen's Birthday weekend and we were going to hear Cecile speak at Pecha Kucha. I sent Kahu and waited. The police prepared me for the worst. I thought Lionel had probably gone off the road, would not be seen, and would eventually be found frozen. He was nearly 98 and I had been about to stop Lionel getting behind the wheel because he held up traffic.
I told the police where the spare key was and they found a photo to send out. Just after 9 I got a call to say Lionel had been spotted by a truckie driving slowly along the verge of the road heading towards Palmerston. Until today I had thought he had driven to his pie eating spot overlooking the Ida Valley, become confused in the fog and got completely lost. Today I understand how easy it would have been to take a wrong turn. We were lucky. The police took away his licence that night when they took him home and, although, he had an electric scooter in the garage he refused to get on it and never drove anything again. I became his driver.
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